Idiot's Delight
by Peter Balestrieri

Peter can wink his eye.

Just another fat pig snoring his life away.

Dominic had a toy another child wanted
and was bitten on the arm.

Dominic was bitten on his arm by another child.
He cried and I applied ice immediately.
I think he and the other child wanted
to play with the same toy.

Peter! Wait'll you see this!
          Mary Jane Parker, Spiderman

The Twentieth Century! I could pull a better century out of a hat.
          Francis X. Bushman in Sabrina

Peter, wait! What are you doing?
          Mary Jane Parker, Spiderman

What is "doomed"?
          I don't know but I heard it in a movie and it doesn't sound good.
                    Elmo and Zoe, Sesame Street

Cook him a turkey and stuff it with rabbit.
          Aye, and a few steaks smothered with chops.
                    Clark Gable and Torin Thatcher in Band of Angels

Between you and me Sir, I'll have to see him before I'll believe he's invisible.
          A constable in The Invisible Man Returns

Is he the Mummy?
          No, you're the Mummy.
No, I'm the Mommy.

Dominic, we're going to go see airplanes and Mama got a book about airplanes and Mama is an airplane.

Tub O' Shrimp Scampi

(place for Liberty Valance and Dr. Zhivago quote)

Did he die?
          What am I, a doctor?
                    Lisa and Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

There'll be dumplings at the canteen tonight with a whole pig stuffed in each one!
          "Mr. Niu" in To Live

Doesn't her father deal pot?
          You deal pot.
You are pot.

What a beautiful disaster!
          Aerial tram conductor, Second Chance

Aladdin's Bail Bonds
Because Jail Sucks!

This is a paid advertisement for the Space Bag.

Franco goes in where the others have been.
          The Dirty Dozen

The State Verses Balestrieri

I love homonyms!

We were all going in for snack. Dominic
walked right into the pole. His forehead
may be bruised.

It's as red as the Daily Worker and twice as sore.
          Barbara Stanwyck in Ball of Fire

John Bunny: Bunny's Suicide, Bunny All at Sea, Bunny at the Derby, Bunny Blarneyed, Bunny as a Reporter, Bunny for the Cause, Bunny's Dilemma, Bunny's Honeymoon, Bunny Buys a Harem, Bunny in Disguise, Bunny's Birthday, Bunny's Mistake, Bunny in Bunnyland

Great souls by instinct to each other turn, demand allegiance, and by friendship burn.
          Joseph Addison

You never know what he'll do! A real monster!
          One of the Young Men, Sanjuro

They need to invent a meat drink.

They kept fire-breathing monkeys as pets.
          The Tick, The Tick

It's the living that need resurrecting, not the dead.
          Matt Keeslar in Run of the Country

The most beautiful things are the ones we can't understand.
          Rosanno Brazzi in Summertime

Claire's New Brain

Under Your Breath

Throwing Voices

They always have red hair!
          Walter Pidgeon in Julia Misbehaves

Squeeze Wrench - $19.95 + S&H - 800-638-6990

You are the Paraclete of Kaborka, the Wrath of the Lamb, the Angel of the Bottomless Pit.
          Roberts Blossom Guernsey in The Hospital

Another beating like that and he'll walk home dead.
          Sara Allgood in How Green Was My Valley

an agent
an operative

I would say some of my favorite foods are stuff with stuff in it or stuff with stuff on it.

He's got a stuffed thing. I love stuffed things!
 hand puppet

The right hand should mind its own goddam business.

Last night I dreamt I was pissing blood.

Melvyn Douglas

Soundtrack to Topkapi

Let me be your doughnut.
          Florence Rice (with Melvyn Douglas) in Fast Company

When you find something that's been lost, it's always in the last place you look.

I love night paintings.
          I do too.

Andre, you have a real horse that you ride every day. I'm not giving you fifty cents so you can ride that machine.

You're going to marry the biggest man in the country
          I'm not going to marry anybody.
                    Hugh Marlowe and Patricia Neal in The Day the Earth Stood Still

Dominic is having fun in Oak.
Despite his teething, he still enjoys
reading books and playing with the
koosh balls.

"You learn about love every day"
          Playing Around

I go now to turn the bathroom into a place of mystery and horror.

I really like that ravioli.
          So does K-Roo.
I really like chunks of watermelon.
          So does K-Roo.

Anybody remember the public service announcement from late '50s, early '60's TV that featured Willie Mays saying, "These are blasting caps. If you find them, don't touch them."?

Some days a fella can't win all year some days.
          Clark Gable in Any Number Can Play

It's easy when you know how.
          Edward G. Robinson in Unholy Partners

Pig Noise

able to roll a joint in the back of a convertible, with the top down, on the freeway

"good with a pool cue, good at a party"

I released the bug in the dark and couldn't tell if it flew out of the bag.

Pub. March 2000