by Alan Sondheim
If IBM merged with the Post Office, you'd have International Business Machine Office. If Red Hat merged with Microsoft, you'd have Red Soft. If Linux merged with Unix, you'd have Lunix. If Macy's merged with Stern's, you'd have Merny's. If CBS radio merged with CBS television you'd have CBS relevision. If the American Broadcasting System merged with Pinchik's Hardware, you'd have Pamerican Hoadcasting System. If Alan merged with Azure you'd have Alure. If Nettime merged with Cybermind you'd have Netmind. If the Internet merged with the London Times, you'd have Lonernet Times. If Tibet merged with Belgium, you'd have Tigium. If a President Clinton merged with a Margaret Thatcher, you'd have Margaret Clinton. If NATO merged with the Red Brigades, you'd have Ned Brigades. If Dean Street merged with O'Reilly Publishing, you'd have Deano Reilly Publishing. If a password merged with login, you'd have pogin. If the first word merged with the last word, you'd have the fast word. If Wall Street merged with Leopoldstrasse, you'd have Wallopoldstrasse. If Venus merged with Mars, you'd have Vars. If the Universe merged with Nothing you'd have Unnothing, but if the Void merged with the Abyss, you'd have the Voiss. If Chrysler merged with the Y2k problem, you'd have the Chrytookay problem. If Kyoko Date merged with Madonna, you'd have Kyodonna. If a sentence merged with a paragraph, you'd have a sentagraph. If Bladerunner merged with Little Women, you'd have Blattle Women. If God merged with Sondheim, you'd have Gondheim, but if Old Navy merged with Banana Republic, you'd have Old Banana Republic and if Pathmart merged with Wimpy's, you'd have Pampy's, but if Ford merged with women, you'd have Fomen, and if Hibiscus merged with Tulips you'd have Hibips.
There were some people over there who had a dance. Some other people came up. They were from the Turtle People. Two of them carried a shining thing they saw in the water. Some women tried to shoot at it. One of them caught it in her net. She brought it back. Some men at the dance tried to take it. A bird landed on the net and it disappeared. The woman said, from now on you will have this disease. She took the shining thing and put it in the sky.
Pub. March 2000