from MEN
by Mark Peters

A new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many of our men should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN. A woman can be downright bitchy but if she looks good she can still get men. And so, through ingenuity and the luck of evolution, women will rule the world and men will be slobbering drunk pigs obsessed with sports, sex, guns, and barbecue. And that book–which says a girl should never ever call a boy–is to men what The Satanic Verses is to Iranian religious zealots. As we look at older populations, we do indeed find that the number of available men to women is in the former's favor. At the heart of class division, according to this view, are the biological differences between men and women. At the same time we're in a patriarchal society–I was with a lot of men who were far less than "respectful" . . . who were abusive in some ways. Back came the reply, "That may well be, but as I told you all along, men are different!" Battered women seem to be most afflicted with feelings of helplessness in their relationships with men. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists primarily in dealing with men. But I wonder if women really are allowed (by themselves, at least as much by men) to speak now and be heard more than before? But since when have women had to compete with women who don't even want the men? By examining the role of pornography in anti-sexist men's lives we can see how these men experience the contradiction of attempting to decrease their power as members of the male ruling class. Elizabeth Hurley has put up with more than her share of raunchy behavior from the men in her life, and a line must be drawn somewhere. Having a deepened orgasmic experience takes time and work, but it is definitely possible for men to have both intense and multiple orgasms. Hold onto your seats, ladies and gentlemen, for the bulk of In The Company of Men involves two young healthy white-collar workers torturing a handicapped woman. How can our enemies take our military seriously if we are willing to drive honorable men and women out of the service for dubious reasons? I know that sounds harsh but sometimes when a comes to a beautiful woman, some men just totally lose their heads and start thinking with another part of their anatomy. I truly believe that all women have some sort of issue or philosophy that annoys men. I'm angry that the Men's Movement hasn't mobilized in any way over the issue of men being actively targeted in this society as the problem. In Great War diction, there are three degrees of erotic heat attaching to three words: men is largely neutral; boys is a little warmer; lads is very warm. In this position it is possible to masturbate and ejaculate over the mouth, and some men like to do this. I've gotten some feedback about this page implying that I am bitter or I hate men. Money-grubbing mortician Kyle Curtis has been charged with secretly castrating the corpses of 1,650 men–and selling their pilfered penises and testicles for a whopping $1 million! No one will call the sex police if you think about one of those wrong men now and then. One of the least publicized aspects of American History is the contribution of African American men and women in the defense of this nation. People would no longer have mid-life crises, women would no longer have to look sexy, men could stop being such assholes. Scholars who have studied the Hippocratic Collection have concluded most nursing care was performed by men. Sex is many wonderful things with my husband, but it was hottest with the wrong men I dated in my twenties. Sex-role training which is success-oriented presumes there is a scarcity of the kind of rewards men want most. Since women marry so young, it is common to see young women with much older men. The Good Lord says, "I have said, 'You are Gods,' but you shall die like men, every one of you." The mediocre alone have a prospect of continuing and propagating themselves–they will be the men of the future, the sole survivors; "be like them! become mediocre!" is now the only morality which still has a significance, which still obtains a hearing. Therefore, women cannot avoid the symbolism that associates money and the testicles any more than men can. 30%, mostly women, write that they fear splash-back, while 9%, all but one of them men, say they like it. Tis not for that end we are born; those absurd laws are the handiwork of men and we must not submit to them. We are living at an important and fruitful moment now, for it is clear to men that the images of adult manhood given by the popular culture are worn out; a man can no longer depend on them. WE AS WOMEN WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP AS YOUNG WOMEN, BUT MEN JUST DON'T GET IT! Well, I do have a distinctive style which isn't girly or romantic, or macho for men, but having said that, there have been a lot of male hairdressers who have leaned toward those types of aesthetics. What does interest me, however, is when terms such as 'barbaric' are applied unjustly to men in general. What follows is a discussion of the most common as well as the biggest mistakes men make, so you will know WHAT NOT TO DO the next time you're out picking up women. What this means is that after age 50, and for the rest of their lives, men need a yearly prostate checkup. Your husband has a serious gambling problem and has been dealing with some very dangerous men.

Pub. May 1999